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Shavua Tov: How Lonely Sits the Deity

Don’t blame Me. I had nothing to do with it.

Jeremiah, just stop. Why are you telling Me I afflicted Jerusalem for her many transgressions? Why would I do a thing like that? That holy temple was My footstool! It was My connection to you. Did I not command you in the desert to “make Me a sanctuary, so I could dwell among” you? Did I not romance you into the desert, rescuing you from those arrogant slavemasters who thought they were Me? Did I not descend in a cloud and provide you with a way to get closer to Me? I didn’t abandon you. You abandoned Me! And when you abandon Me, I cannot protect you.

And now you lament “how lonely sits the city.” I know. We’re so disconnected right now. I remember how dark and meaningless everything was when the whole universe was only Me. I couldn’t stand it. Apparently, the only way to make Myself whole inside was to sacrifice My omnipotence in order for the physical universe to be even possible. So I did it. Yanked out one of My proverbial ribs to create you. I so lovingly prepared the world for you, even a garden paradise where all you had to do was pick berries. And then, when I breathed life in you, I saw Myself in you. I noticed you were lonely, just like Me. I had thought it was all good until that. I brought you animals to name, but I could tell that wasn’t enough, so I yanked a rib out of you so you could see your intimate face to face. The two of you ran around naked and unashamed, and I was so happy for you, and so jealous.

But I made you too much like Me. You wanted to know the secrets of the universe and had to take a bite. It was therefore too dangerous to keep you in the garden, and through My tears I cast you out into a cold and lonely world.

It took generations and endless suffering for you to evolve enough to get close to Me again. Abraham and Sarah were My only friends, but I knew it couldn’t last forever. Sooner or later, I would have to take the last breath out of them. If only you had left well enough alone and not taken that bite. But – again – you were too much like Me.

Abraham and Sarah’s descendants were a stiff pain in the neck, but I saw potential. I had not a friend in the world, but it seemed you wanted to be friends. I came as close as I could but you freaked out and built a golden calf. Yeah, I get it. You wanted a friend you could see, feel, hug. You had trust issues when it came to the incorporeal type. So I summoned My servant Moses to receive a handbook for living, for coming close enough to feel My presence but not so close that it would kill you.

Those chats with Moses were so nice, and quite challenging. I tell you – that guy had guts. He would lay it all on the line to prevent Me from destroying his people. When he died, I wept.

When we finally figured out a way to be closer, I was never happier. To take in the sweet, spicy scent of your sacrifices defies description. I know those prophets warned you against the consequences of idolatry and corruption, but truth be known, Moses turned Me into kind of a softy. They couldn’t hear Me like Moses did. They interpreted their visions according to their own, unforgiving agenda. I never wanted to leave you, I never would, and I never will.

So, for the time being, the sacrifice thing isn’t working out. And I still get lonely sometimes. But there are moments I feel so close to you. Like when I breathe life into a newborn, or when I take your breath away at the sight of a sunset, or when you’re falling in love. I know you’re often searching for Me and think you’re not finding Me. But the truth is, I’m constantly reaching out to you and get frustrated that you don’t notice. You’re so preoccupied with the bills and global warming. I guess I don’t blame you. Some of you think you can sit in My house all day and night, but I have no use for them. They’re obnoxious, they get too high on themselves and then thumb their nose at you. They’re further from Me than the rest of you, truth be known.

You know what’s weird, though? I feel closest to you when you’re frustrated. When you’re angry at Me. When you’re wrestling with Me. I love wrestling!! The very idea that you can beat Me is rather amusing, but the result doesn’t even matter. No, you don’t win, but you don’t lose either. You might come away wounded, but also blessed. When you wrestle with me, it means you understand that it’s not easy to get close to Me, to love Me. When you wrestle with Me, you come away transformed. You take a part of Me with you.

I wish it were easier for you to get close to Me, especially since I commanded you to love Me. But trust me, this is for your own protection. No one can see My face and live. I’m forced to be like that grandpa you visited from outside his door during the pandemic. It’s comforting, but the barriers are palpable. I really hope that does something for you. I promise you it does help Me stave off the loneliness – at least on the outside. On the inside, I’m unknowable, and that hurts. But that’s how I created it, that’s how it has to be.

Maybe someday it will be different. Maybe someday you’ll surprise me and create a world I can truly trust enough to show My face. That would be so nice. I pray for it every day. Shavua Tov.


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